Different personalities are part of what makes a golf trip memorable. You get the boys away from home, allow them to enjoy a couple cold pops, and next thing you know they’ve let their hair down, assuming they still have any, and are trying to turn back the clock.
While every group has unique characters, there are personality types that seem to show up in nearly every group.
The Mouth
He may not be able to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, but there is at least one guy who is always running his mouth. Every triumph is a testament to his game, and every loss the fault of some karmic injustice. Annoying? Occasionally. Entertaining? Always. Every group needs a pot-stirrer.
This is a Vacation
He plays six rounds a year – five of them are on your trip – and he is as interested in last call at Broadway at the Beach as he is a birdie putt. All of which is fine, unless you are playing a team-style event and he is killing you. This guy will likely provide you a couple good stories and will need to return to work on Monday to rest up.
Looks the Part
With a brand-new TaylorMade driver in the bag and color-coordinated outfits for each round – this guy is a walking Instagram post. He may not break 90, but he’ll look good trying, because style is at least as important as substance.
Part-Time Golfer, Full-Time Historian
Memories fade for most of us, but most groups have at least one guy who never seems to forget a single detail of these trips. He can recall who won a skin on day 2 in 2018, and what course you were at when Darren bounced one off a tree and the ball ended up 4 feet from the hole for birdie. Every group needs a memory like his, especially when the beers start flowing and the stories start growing.
The Know-it-All
You didn’t ask, but he’ll tell you anyway. Got a rules question? Wondering why you are suddenly hooking the ball? Looking for the secret to world peace? There will be one guy who can and will answer all those questions for you. There is a pretty good chance he will be right about half the time.
The Emotional Grenade
He’s a 16 handicap with the temperament of Alejandro Tosti. His head explodes the first time he pulls a drive, and he chucks his putter after missing a crucial putt. You spend the weekend trying to manage his emotions in hopes of avoiding a meltdown, with varying degrees of success.
The Sandbagger
“I’ve been playing terrible,” he says — right before striping it down the middle and rolling in putts like he’s on tour. His handicap is more fiction than fact, and by the time he’s pocketed your money, he’s already downplaying tomorrow’s round. The worst part? You knew better, and you brought him anyway.
In the end, it’s the mix of these personalities – the chaos, the banter, the birdies, and blowups – that makes a golf trip what it is. Even the sandbagger (begrudgingly). Because without them, it’s just another round.
