We are mostly here to share ways to make your next Myrtle Beach golf trip better, but sometimes our job is to prevent you from making mistakes. After getting lost in a Reddit thread titled “Boys Golf Trip,” where the guy who started the message board chat solicited ideas for how to take his golf trip to the next level, I had to step in.

The thread had 323 comments (and counting), many of them good ideas, but some were so transparently bad that they needed to be addressed, if for no other reason than to ensure you don’t make a horrible mistake.

With that in mind, here are five suggestions from the thread guaranteed not to take your golf trip to the next level.

● The first comment on the post, from someone who calls themselves technomigical, said, “Get a 6 or 8-pack of walkie talkies on amazon, one talkie per cart. Makes for a great time on the course, talking $hit and sharing scores etc.”

Stunningly, the comment was upvoted 263 times and a couple of his fellow commenters weighed in to support the idea.

Let me be clear about getting walkie talkies for your group: it’s a TERRIBLE idea. If you want to know what’s going on with the rest of your group, get a live scoring app (something I recommend), but otherwise enjoy the company of the people you are playing with. They sell beer in clubhouses so you can listen to the rest of your buddies recount their misadventures after the fact.

I can’t imagine trying to hit a tee shot while listening to Billy ramble about chunking another chip and his inability to make a putt. We won’t even talk about the possibility of this slowing play.

Shoot me now.

Not only should you not bring walkie talkies on your trip, but I’ll also go one step further and say they should be banned from the course!

● Seattle_fan_ said his group camped out the first night of a trip, comparing it to a tailgate.

NO.

Who wants to pitch tents, blow up air mattresses (unless you want to fight, don’t even suggest I sleep on the ground), and go through the work that comes with setting up a campsite (including food) only to tear it down hours later? I can knock back cold ones and hang out with my buddies in places all over Myrtle Beach without camping.

Do you really want to spend the following morning packing your stuff back up when you could be on the golf course?

FYI, this isn’t an anti-camping rant; I enjoy the outdoors as much as the next guy but camping and golf trips don’t mix, and you will never convince me otherwise.

● I might be showing my age with this one, but thriller1122 suggested hiring “photographers” to help chronicle the trip. Take your own pictures if you want them. Other than a couple group photos, memories of a golf trip are best stored in your mind and recounted annually. Mercifully, most of thriller’s fellow redditors were opposed to his idea and you should be too.

● Riosborne recommended drafting two teams the night before the trip and figuring games out from there. This is a recipe for chaos. Determine games and pairings before the trip. For starters, people like to know who they are playing with, and more importantly, nobody wants confusion on that first morning trying to figure out who they are riding with and what time they are going off. This idea makes me wonder if riosborne has ever actually been on a golf trip.

● Competitive_Band2564 recommended everyone on your trip grow a mustache. Admittedly, this would be funny, but I’m leaving my wife and kids for four days and I’ll need at least a day to recover upon my return, and her reward for my debauchery is having to spend the 10 days leading up to the trip watching me grow a cheesy mustache? My reward might be divorce papers.

Bottom line: Skip the walkie-talkies, forget the mustache, and for the love of all things golf, do NOT start your trip pitching a tent in the woods. Your trip (and your sanity) will thank you.