A Guide to the Golfing Pals You Should Leave at Home

The week of a golf trip is one of the best of the year. It’s a chance to get away for a few responsibility-free days with the boys or girls, play the game you love, and enjoy the camaraderie a trip engenders. 

All that makes the people you travel with almost as important as the courses you play. As you make plans for your next trip, here are the five types of people you don’t want to come along. 

I got three hours of sleep and I’m drunk again by 11 a.m.
Listen, I’m not here to begrudge a guy who enjoys a couple cold pops, and we’ve all been overserved before. That’s not what we are talking about. I’m talking about the one you know is going to live like a madman for four days. There is a pretty good chance their play will decline throughout the trip and by the final day they will be a boat anchor. Your trip isn’t the Ryder Cup, but it’s nice when everyone tries to be competitive. Having a good time off the course is encouraged, consistently going overboard isn’t it. 

I have to call home at 7:30 and I’m in bed by 8:00
Conversely, the person who must check in at home and is in for the evening by dark isn’t any fun either. You don’t want people swinging from the rafters, but you do want everyone participating in the good times. A stick-in-mud isn’t additive to the experience for anyone. 

Human Rain Delay
Bad golfers aren’t a problem. Seriously. It’s a hard game and most of us aren’t very good, me included. You can play poorly and keep pace. Much more so than a sliced drive or a chunked approach shot, the guy who takes an interminable number of practice swings, marks a one-foot putt for double is particularly maddening. That grates on people over the course of four or five days. 

Know it All
Beware of those who are “often wrong but never in doubt.” Having too many people that need too have the last word can be a drag. You want the trip to be relaxing, not a debate contest. 

Do You Respond to P Reed? 
Even on a golf trip, where the competition is merely for pride, you want to bring people who respect the rules your group agrees to play by. Nobody wants to play the role of Deputy Dog, shadowing the person who always seems to find his ball on the right side of the tree. Make sure you bring an honest bunch!

If you have a final spot to fill on your upcoming trip, don’t make a mistake that will haunt you for the duration of your junket.